This Collection is so personal to me and for all Momma's out there--I am so excited to share this with you!
Backdrop: I have been a single Mom to twin girls for the past 15 years, and God has been very gracious to me in giving me the wisdom and strength to raise my two girls. It has however been an uphill climb, and often in these teen years a lonely and desperate climb. I also own a jewelry business which demands my inspiration and creativity full time; so to be present to that while wrestling with faith and calm has been a challenging part of the journey as a Mom. God has been faithful as you will see!
Back to present...It all started with a feeling that I woke up with in January and a visual inspiration...a thousand white butterflies being let go in the sky! Now the miracle in this is that this feeling of clarity, freedom, surrender, delight and purity is in direct contrast to what I had been feeling for years and years prior. The visual and feeling was strong enough for me to know that the life event of my girls turning 18 was the inspiration for my new Collection.
The design process began and what unfolded was a mixture of clear stones, flutters of pearls and moonstones, Momma and baby beads nestled together, and cocoon and teardrop shapes. The Collection came together almost instinctively, and the resulting pieces took my breath away, as a thousand white butterflies will do!
Then it came time to write the story for the Collection, and my usual process began of keeping my inspiration in the back of my mind and heart as I went about my daily rounds. The day before my girls turned 18, the Collection was finished and I woke up with this line in my head. (For any of you writers out there you know how exciting this is!) The line went..so out of my heart flew a thousand white butterflies...plus two. I was so excited!!! Love that line!
So I went to write the rest of the story and it just wasn't working and after prayer and thought I heard a little whisper in the back of my mind...Suzan, it's not working because it is not a new story, it is the end of the poem you wrote 5 years a go in January called Forgive Me Butterfly. My heart about burst and I knew right away what had to be written!
So as you read the poem below you will see where it ended in 2015 and how the end came to be. Seeing my girls grow to be strong and beautiful young women is so exciting, but more than that was to see God prepare my heart to let them go, knowing that in Him we are together forever. It is especially meaningful and profound for me because I lost my Mom when I was three to suicide and never grew up with a mother figure. So, with tears and joy this now fills another hole in my broken heart. There is always hope.
I share this with you as a reminder that God walks with us every step and is in every detail including our very thoughts and heartbeat. He will equip us for every new season, but not sometimes until a moment before, so hang on Momma Butterfly, hang on.
Forgive Me Butterfly
I'm sorry my sweets for the tug of war I play wrestling your future. My heart in knots, your eyes a flame, why am I so busy watching you, wondering if I see me?
You are my butterfly, your colors shining wet in the sun. Colors yet to be, dreams tied up in wings. Untie this knot of fear, my Lord. Warm my wings so I can look inside, not afraid of what I'll see. Unwrap me Lord so I can see the life you have for me.
You see my sweets, there is a butterfly in me too. I let my wings get dry always watching you. Wondering and hoping to see you fly, I look at you with earthly eyes. Unwrap me Lord so I can see the gifts you gave to me. And when you take me out to limb, shaking with uncertainty, I know you're always there to comfort me.
Teach me Lord that we are two. Give me your heavenly point of view. Butterfly, butterfly, free to be, heaven's dreams are in the sky. Butterfly, my butterfly, you are my butterfly you see, and I mistake your wings for me. The Lord will teach us how to fly.
And so he did, so faithful is he. Years and years had turned in a flash. My fears turned to joy, your wings dry enough to fly. My two sweet little girls, my two butterflies.
So out of my heart flew a thousand white butterflies...plus two.